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coeur_de_noir) wrote2020-01-01 02:39 pm
Pinned Post: About Me for the newbies.
For anyone interested, I've done a wee About Me, which will bring you up to speed and give you some context for my occasional ramblings.
I'm Milla. I'm 42 years old and was born into a mixed genetic bag (there's a little British, a little Scots, a little Maltese, a little Italian and a little Hungarian running through my veins thanks to a seafaring first-gen Australian family). This is why I have the skin of a Brit and the eyebrows of Groucho Marx. I like dying my hair in stupid colours as a small act of rebellion against my very corporate job. This last year its been pink, green and My-Little-Pony coloured because I've been pretty fed up behaving for money.
Told you about the eyebrows.
1. Die, who is so cool but doesn't believe me when I tell him how cool he is. He DJs, sews, has peperami legs and once made me a Katy Perry heart headband that was anatomically correct. We laugh about stupid things and 90% of the dumb interests in my interests lists were put there specifically to make him laugh. He's the best.
2. Melinda, who is hands down the most driven person I've ever met and a constant inspiration. We got acquainted via Nathan Barley fandom and still share a mutual fondness of world weary snarks. We've done epic road trips together and stayed in super posh places where we invariably get plastered and bring the tone down.
3. S, or 'She who will not be named', who is also very cool and also doesn't believe me when I tell her so. I also met her through Nathan Barley fandom, and though we've only met in person a handful of times, she's one of the people I can trust with anything. We've gotten lost in a number of cities but so far managed to make it home alright.
4. Megan, who I met through Die. She's a fellow wanderer, who stayed with us in between horrible spider-infested farm stay jobs when she came to Australia on a working visa. Fellow Hannibal lover, dance-floor windmiller, and the only other person I know who loves cats as much as I do (which is no mean feat, trust me).
My favourite colour is green (I think. Maybe it's pink? I don't know, I like all the colours, except brown, which I really, really hate). My favourite flowers are magnolias and leucadendrons. I like shows with loads of UST which is the only explanation for putting up with all the queerbaiting on Supernatural and Suits. I like meandering films like the ones by Jim Jarmusch, and films containing girls that kick some ass. I'll watch pretty much anything but horror, because I'm a massive baby with an overactive imagination and a pre-disposition for nightmares. I'm very interested in politics and environmentalism but still learning lots about both so am careful with my responses. I was never very good at maths.
I was raised Catholic and have a healthy disregard for organised religion as a result, though thats where I got my fondness for art and architecture. I grew up very poor and am pretty afraid of being poor again, though common sense tells me I'm very financially stable and that I can probably quit that job that makes me miserable. I was a tomboy kid who liked climbing fences and trees and people but then puberty happened and these huge knockers came at me like a life-ruining burst of hormones and I don't really trust my body anymore. I spent a large part of my twenties on a path of destruction so my metabolism is screwed and I only have to look at food to get an extra fat roll. I mind being fat less and less the older I get.
I have a brother, Nick, who blames me for how weird he is. Who knew that force feeding a 7 year old The Young Ones and The Doug Anthony Allstars would warp him for life? I taught him to swim, and how to ride a bike though he's never been much good at the bike riding part. He's a proper little jerk which is why I love him loads (also he looks older than me which is the best because he's actually seven years younger. I don't get on so well with the rest of my family because I left home early and don't know how to be anything but distant. Sorry Mum.
I love music. I listen to anything, and tend to like a certain tone rather than a specific genre. My love of lyrics leads me to artists like Nick Cave, Patti Smith, Jarvis Cocker, Leonard Cohen, The Smiths, Bowie, The Cure and the Arctic Monkeys and my love of falsetto is the only explanation for how often I listen to The Darkness. I love big hair rock from the 80s and get quite emotional when singing along with power ballads. I get fixated on songs and like to sing along with them in the car until I know every breath and intonation (one of my best is Babies by Pulp, though I also do a cracking rendition of John Finn's Wife by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds). I also know all the words to Baby Got Back and 99 Problems and Gangsta Gangsta, because I have a stupid memory for rhyme. Its also why I like poetry, I guess.
I love reading and am voracious. I like junk novels and high art novels and experimental novels and often fall in love with fictional characters. When I find an author I read everything by that author which is why I have full collections of people like Nick Hornby and Chuck Palahniuk and Douglas Coupland and Neil Gaiman and even Stephen King which some people think I should be ashamed of but I couldn't give a hoot. My favourite book has been The Passion by Jeanette Winterson since I read it in Uni. I love fantasy and am currently really mad at Patrick Rothfuss and Scott Lynch cos they're making me wait too long for the next instalment in their respective series. I still havent forgiven Melanie Rawn for not writing the Ambrai finale.
On the topic of grudges regarding fictional universes, I havent forgiven Joss Whedon for killing Wash either. I still like Firefly even though Billy has made me watch it approximately 890763678 times and I should be sick of it. I loved Hannibal so I'm busting for American Gods to be released (which is my favourite Gaiman novel, followed by Anansi Boys). I'm also cautiously excited for Twin Peaks because Sherilyn Fenn was basically my number 1 object of lust for the whole of my twenties.
I guess that by now you're probably aware that I fancy men and women. I mostly fancy women, really, I just don't have great relationships with them. I'm still quite close with the woman who broke my heart when I was 19, which just goes to show I'm a sucker for punishment and a pretty loyal friend who can look beyond my base instincts.
I hate violence, intolerance, bigotry and spiders. I'm not that keen on bananas either. Most everything else doesn't even raise an eyebrow from me, even if I don't personally participate in it or like it. However, if you love spiders and like to post pictures of them, please respect my severe arachnophobia and don't add me to your friends list.
It's really great to make your aquaintance. I hope we'll become friends <3 Catch you soon,
Milla x
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Yay for doing My Little Pony colours in your hair despite working in an office! I keep thinking I should go for pink highlights again as long as I'm not working a 9-5 job...
I'm a member of 2017 revival as well. I've added 3 people so far. They all seem nice. x
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Do the colour - life goes too quick to hesitate over something that will make you smile (and make little kids loud-whisper about you in supermarkets, haha).
Its a really good idea! My friends list is more than a page long now ;-)
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You mentioned Jim Jarmusch as well and I enjoy his films also, especially the recent Only Lovers Left Alive. I always go back and enjoy his first film though Permanent Vacation now and then. That dance.. ; )
I've had two cats the last 27 years or so but my cat Luna just died suddenly a bit over a year ago and I miss him dearly. Lately I've found that I enjoy seeing when other people share photos of their cats and it has a positive effect instead of sad. I hope to have a cat again one day. I love them so much.
The past 4 years for me have been a bit rough health wise and it took a toll on my reading. I'm just starting to get back to it now and find a bit overwhelmed since I have so many books on the go now. Reading and books has always been one of my top loves, second being writing then I think music.
I am so sexually open and free so its a comfort to read how you live as well. My trouble always seemed to be I found being friends with women worked better than men. Well, I just don't get along with men so well, so would try to build friendships with women. So often though they would seem to turn more sexual and that was always a disaster. I would just be enjoying the friendship, but then they would want more. Its been so hard to find that right balance in any friend. I think I may of found it now. Early days.
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How lovely was Only Lovers Left Alive? Stunning visuals and perfectly pitched performances. I haven't seen Permanent Vacation but now it is certainly on my list. Did you see Paterson?
I'm so sorry for the loss of your cat - my Luna is 15 and I'm starting to get nervous. If you're on instagram my name there is everybodyrow - loads of cat pictures to make you feel warm x
I was kind of put in the closet by my Dad which maybe had something to do with the lack of success at creating long term relationships with women. By the time I got comfortable I was in a long term relationship with a guy (which is fine, I like both genders!). Its sometimes hard to form uncomplicated friendships without romantic feelings interfering... Im glad you've found something where you think things will work out xx
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubsRnOzN10s
I did love Only Lovers so much. I live across the river from Detroit so the scenes filmed there felt so close to home. I loved so much about it. I haven't seen Paterson, I will have to look that one up.
I added you to my Instagram, my account is also locked but will add you back. My Mittens lived until 17 but really got thin then had trouble walking so had to take him in since he was even starting to hide as cats do when they are feeling close to passing on. Luna though was 13 or so and just starting panting one night and looked troubled, even was starting to hide so rushed him to the 24 animal hospital but he died on my way there. : (
I am happy right now I found that sort of friend I always hoped to my whole life. I just never met anyone before I felt I could truly talk with openly. Most people don't go where my mind does. Also I've never been married or had children and I'm almost 50, so its hard to find other people my age who are similar. Most are married and have children and I have trouble usually fitting into their lives in some way.
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My favourite scene in OLLA was when they dance to Denise La Salle's Trapped By A Thing Called Love. What a great scene. I also loved his hot-wired electrics and the mushroom... so beautiful.
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It was so lovely in red vinyl. I miss my turntable though. Ended up selling it last year.
I've watched the film over and over since then. Felt like it had quite a Detroit soul to it in a way. Loved the story though and the new take on vampires.
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I love that you've met some of your closest friends here on lj. It's what I love about this place, how you can grow friendships that could last a long time, since here it's easier to connect to people in a deeper way than on other places online. :)
lol @ knowing all the lyrics to Baby Got Back. I know I can't hear the word "stop" without then thinking, "collaborate and listen..." from vanilla ice's "ice ice baby", like nearly every time. Probably shouldn't admit that.
I love reading and books as well. It's what I got a degree in at Uni, but during that time in school it exhausted that love for a bit. I needed a break, but have dived back into reading lots in the past year. I'm reading like 4-5 different books right now, it's difficult to find time to make enough progress in each.
Great tastes in film & music. I love the Cure and also whenever I discover a new song or band I like, I will play the hell out of that album or one song, over and over and over, it can drive others a little nuts, but when I fall in love with music I just go all in.
We also share similarity in sexuality, as though I can fall in love with both genders, my attractions and sexuality weighs heavily more towards other women. It's always been that way. And is just what comes natural.
It's so nice meeting you, and I look forward to learning more about you. :)
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I live in a place where there are a ton of spiders and I agree, exposure lessens the fear a little. They make my skin crawl though! My pal says its because we're reacting against their creepy alien nature and i sometimes wonder if my fear is in part due to the giger-style monsters in Alien, which terrified me as a kid.
I feel like LJ saved me in a way. I was working in Sydney alone for ages and feeling pretty bummed and lonely and then I met all these great people and felt like I belonged to something. I met tons of people through the Boosh fandom and ended up going OS for the 2009 Boosh tour, which is where I met Die and a couple of other people Im still close to. It can be the best <3 Have you met many of your friends list?
Hahaha, I totally know all the lyrics to Ice Ice Baby too ;-)
I did my degree in English lit too! What area of interest did you focus on? I did middle english (Chaucer, et al) because I'm a masochist. I dropped out before finishing after realising I didn't want to be a teacher or a professional academic. I wish Id stayed on now tho.
Thanks again for the lovely long comment and so happy we connected ;-) x
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The University I went to didn't have a further concentration within the English literature focus. They had English as the overarching major and then underneath that broader genre you had to choose a concentration between a focus in literature; focus in language/rhetoric, or a focus in Secondary Education.
So I had to study a couple of courses in everything really. British Lit, American Lit, Ancient literature and texts, Medival lit, neoclassical, renaissance, victorian, world literature, etc...Lots and lots of reading and writing. If I go for my master's, which I'm leaning towards doing sooner rather than later, that will be more concentrated, probably in women's studies/literature. My professors were really wanting me to pursue becoming a professor, which I'm still considering, just will take so long since I'd need my Masters and then up to 4 more years in school for a PhD. I really just want to write, but can't forsake practicality either. There are bills that must be paid. ;)
Middle english is quite a difficult one for sure. I had a professor who could speak it so well without even blinking. It was impressive. But often gave me a headache.
LJ definitely saved me from the mindless abyss that is facebook. I was feeling so very alone last year around this time. I felt so depressed and just wanted to connect in a real way with others, on a deeper level than facebook memes and 'likes'. I came back here last Feb and am never looking back. I'm so glad I came here, met my closest and dearest friend here, and a few others who I connect with. But no, I've yet to meet anyone here face-to-face yet. I do hope to meet at least one someday though. I'm so glad you found friendships that will last you a lifetime here. That's so wonderful. <3
I can tend to write a lot, so I'm glad it was okay, I just really appreciated your about-me post and liked it so much.
Aww, thank you for your beautiful reply also. I'm very happy we connected as well :) x
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That sounds like a nice broad syllabus! So impressed that you're considering a masters and then a PhD. It's so much work but if you have the aptitude for it, then give it all you have.
What sort of things do you write?
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I've written short stories, though always tend to have trouble finishing them, since I tend to lose motivation. My mind works best poetically: Poetry is my first love and strong-suit, it's what comes to me easiest in moments of inspiration--they've been about death, love, the city, sexual identity, nature, erotica. I've also written creative non-fiction essays, and journaling (in paper and digital).
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Yeah I dont think I share that many shots of Nick - we aren't often together I guess. Maybe there will be more now he's gonna be in Melbourne :-)
I am STOKED that you might come back to LJ. That friending comm has introduced me to some right lovely folks x
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jPod is, I think, his best book, but I have a real soft spot for Shampoo Planet because of this bit:
“What I will tell you, son of sons, is this: shortly, if not already, you will begin noticing the blackness inside us all. You will develop black secrets and commit black actions. You will be shocked at the insensitivities and transgressions you are capable of, yet you will be unable to stop them. And by the time you are thirty, your friends will all have black secrets, too, but it will be years before you learn exactly *what* their black secrets are. Life at that point will become like throwing a Frisbee in a graveyard; much of the pleasure of your dealings with your friends will stem from the contrast between your sparkling youth and the ink you now know lies at your feet.
Later, as you get to be my age, you will see your friends begin to die, to lose their memories, to see their skins turn wrinkled and sick. You will see the effects of dark secrets making themselves known - via their minds and bodies and via the stories your friends - yes, Harmony, Gaia, Mei-lin, Davidson, and the rest - will begin telling you at three-thirty in the morning as you put iodine on their bruises, arrange for tetanus shots, dial 911, and listen to them cry. The only payback for all of this - for the conversion of their once-young hearts into tar - will be that you will love your friends more, even though they have made you see the universe as an emptier and scarier place - and they will love you more, too.”
That really stuck with me and I think about it more often the older I get!
What other authors do you like?
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Have you read the CJ Sansom books about the Tudor-era lawyer? I don't normally get into crime fiction but BOY they were good!
Re: Gaiman - I am busting to see what they do with American Gods onscreen... I hope they do it justice. Casting seems pretty good on most fronts tho for real I always saw Technical Boy as Jonah Hill.
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